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| Not having a home is liberating. I'm not tied down to any place, anything or anyone. Time itself holds no meaning for me. When I'm hungry, I eat. When I'm tired, I sleep. When I sense danger, specifically the shadow of a shoe overhead, I run. I don't envy species less free than I. People's lives are cluttered with commitments, responsibilities, appointments and deadlines. None of which have anything to do with the basic needs of survival and yet so much emphasis is placed on them. Don't they see how much they have complicated their lives?
When I enter their homes, people see it as an intrusion of their space and go through great lengths to get rid of my fellow brothers and I. Our presence, however, should serve as a reminder as to how simple their lives could be. We should be welcomed and praised for we are a far older and wiser species, so close to perfection, in fact, that we have evolved very little over millions of years. Maybe human beings shun us because they don't want to be free. They have gone through many evolutionary stages and yet they are still a flawed race. For each progressive step forward made in man's society, they've also stumbled backward judgment wise. Technology can only take them so far…they cannot see how it holds them back.
People may pity the homeless man on the corner scrounging the dumpsters for food but we roaches applaud him. Now there's a human that's got it right.
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| Mel caught me climbing in through the kitchen window last night. She could barely look at me. She just screamed and ran away. I know that this obsession with her isn't healthy but I can't seem to help myself. Is it so wrong of me to just want to watch her sleep? Alone…in the dark…like old times…She thinks its sick. Maybe it is, but so what?! I need her. All she wants is to be left alone. I know she needs her space but I'm getting desperate. She won't return my calls or respond to my emails. I text message her but to no avail. What choice did I have but to sneak in? I keep telling myself that maybe if I could just see her one more time, I'd be able to get some closure and move on. But I realize now that its like a drug, one little taste keeps me wanting more and more until I can no longer stop or control myself. She doesn't need another stalker in her life. She already has enough species after her as it is and it's sad that this is what our relationship has been reduced to. It makes me wonder if I imagined the whole thing. Did we really have a connection? Did she ever love me? I need answers but at the same time, I'm scared to know the truth.
She's having another party at her place this Tuesday night. I'm thinking of crashing it and just blending in with the crowd. I figure she can't make a scene in front of all those people and then I can finally get a chance to talk to her. I hope Kris is there. He'll back me up. Although there is a possibility that he won't go since he doesn't live there anymore. I don't really like their new roommate, Jeff Lee. He and Mel are really close and I hate to sound like the jealous type but the bastard bugs me. I stood outside his bedroom window last night and eavesdropped on his conversation with Bur and Mel. It was hard to hear what they were saying…something about Antarctica…wasn't making much sense to me. I just want to know if she's seeing someone new. She has a lot of guy friends and I question their motives at times but from what I can gather from the bits and pieces of conversation, there's no real competition. She did say something about how guys with girlfriends have been hitting on her a lot lately but Mel's not a home wrecker. One thing that did make me anxious however was something I heard her say on the phone with her best friend Thaomy. She seemed excited that an old friend of hers was back in town for the summer and I didn't really like her tone while she talked about him. Maybe he'll be at her Tuesday soiree, in which case I have to attend to cock(roach)block.
I'll keep y'all posted on any new developments… | | |
| I'm on the road once again. I was staying at Mel's pad but we got into a fight and she kicked me out. Apparently, I disgust her and she wasn't willing to stay there if I was there. So I did what any gentleman would do. I left. The poor girl was staying at a hotel, that's how much she meaned business. She is definately not someone you want to piss off and anyone who's ever got into a fight with her can attest to this. It takes a lot to upset her but once you do, you're really in trouble.
But despite our differences, we still had our moments. I loved jamming with Kris while he played the guitar. Bur was a little more standoffish and always slept with the lights on so we never really got a chance to kick it. He did make me laugh though so I cant hold a grudge. We'd play this game where he'd chase me around with his shoe and I'd run as fast as I can to my next hiding spot. Once there, I'd wait until he walked away before I'd venture out again and the game would start all over. Ahhh....good times. Some of my friends weren't so lucky however. They didn't make it to the hiding spots and got smushed in the process. But if you're going to play the game then you have to be ready to deal with losing. Not everyone can be a winner.
Things can't always work out the way you want it to, however. I learn to adapt. Its the only way I've been able to survive for millions of years. It was getting crowded in there anyway with Jeff Lee moving in and Kris still kinda staying there too. The place was too damn clean for me anyway. The way I see it, its their loss. I'm moving on to bigger and dirtier things.
Wish me luck and I'll keep you all posted on my adventures... | | |
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